Monday 13 May 2013

I just have to go to the toilet!

"I just have to go to the toilet".

"I'm just doing this".

"I'm just doing that".

Sound familiar?

Time for chores. Homework time. Time out. Pretty much any TIME...the one who was "different"...would go AWOL.

Doing the dishes. "I'm just doing <something uneccessary, but distracting>."

Doing his homework. "I just have to do <something random> with the cat."

Sent to time out for being naughty. Where is he? Snuck into his room to play with his toys. While the rest of us are still facing the wall.

The first was quiet and content. The second was quiet and content. The third? Was loud and hyper.


Source: http://carelearningacademy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/addkittens.jpg


In years to come the "difference" would be diagnosed as Attention Deficit Disorder. Back then, it was a new thing. Nobody really knew what it meant or how to deal with it. Medication, a bit of food restriction and some extra tutoring was pretty much it. Sounds pretty standard. Nowadays with blogs, forums, a wealth of information online there are plenty of resources out there for parents to help eachother out and offer support and advice.

But where did the diagnosis lead, and what advice does he offer up himself?

"Pretty much, if there was anything hands on that I could do I would enjoy it. I liked all those subjects like wood work, metal work, art and cooking. I loved cooking. I would cook more than just what was on the menu for that class. I was actually really good at it. I liked music and drama. But I didn't want to DO any of them. I was always told that I should do apprenticeships or trades so I could get a hands on job. But I didn't like them. I love tinkering with my car. But I don't want to be a mechanic. I really would've liked to try acting or something like that. But I never really had an opportunity".

And there's the missing link. The creativity. The fun. He's a big picture kind of guy. Not into the details. But has vision. Great ideas. Vivid imagination. All those wild stories he used to tell about his friend the crocodile and the shark!

This is also where our system lets us down. It focuses so much on the detail of the math and the literacy. The scores on tests, the ranking of schools and students. But neglects the person as a whole. It's not until the later years of school that students are able to get out of those moulds and choose broader electives. But by then the damage is done. Kids have already been pigeon holed and had their creativity drummed out of them by criticism, by being told to grow up, be realistic, being picked on for still believing.

So where to from here? I can't tell you. And neither can he. But he has a few tips for making school and homework bit easier to cope with for other kids in similar boats.

  • frequent short breaks
  • avoid distractions (other kids, pets, tv etc)...but refer back to #1...quick short breaks often
  • make it fun - draw pictures, act out stories, use objects as props, make it into art work, play games
  • divide work into small chunks - checklists or plans help
  • positive reinforcement - praise strengths and good work with meaningful rewards
  • have a stressball handy for fidgeting

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4 comments:

  1. great advice!!! hey im commenting on my mobile. works well :)

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    1. lol thanks for the feedback! good to know that the blog works on mobile for others.

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  2. I can see so much of my kids in this. I don't think they have ADD, but whenever they have to do something unpleasant like homework, or household chores, it's always "I just need to do..." I like the advice abouty frequent short breaks.

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    1. LOL, yes I think you're right. There's obviously a lot more to it than I'm qualified to comment on, but so many things applicable to all kids.

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